


Take My Hand

by ThisQueenShallConquer



Series: Growing Together [3]
Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Self-Doubt, can be read as a stand-alone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 19:02:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15914361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisQueenShallConquer/pseuds/ThisQueenShallConquer
Summary: Inej said that the Saints liked to test people, Kaz wasn't so sure of that. But if the forces above wanted to watch him struggle, they had another thing coming. Kaz Brekker was used to thinking on his feet





	Take My Hand

As the months passed, Inej's stomach grew, and so did Kaz's anxiety. He hadn't had a good night's sleep in weeks. Instead, he'd sit at his desk in their bedroom each night, the oil lamp turned low, as he worked through the books from the Crow Club. He would pause every fifteen minutes or so, his posture straightening as he waited to see the signal from his guards charged with patrolling the grounds.

Two flashes of a bone light gave Kaz the reassurance he needed before he returned to crunching numbers. He waited for each signal with baited breath, certain that this would be the night that something went wrong. That one of their countless enemies would find their residence, and somehow, bypass the dense layers of security Kaz had constructed.

Logically, it was nonsense. He'd designed all locks himself, and it would take even the best lock-pick an hour to crack just one. The glass in each of their window frames was Grisha made and completely bullet-proof, forged by only best fabrikators in all of Kerch. Kaz had spared no expense, and yet, he still carried around a loaded gun and sharpened switch blades even inside his own home.

He knew, in the more rational part of his mind, that Inej was far from defenceless. Captain Ghafa had changed the face of West Stave during her time at sea. The Barrel would never truly be clean, and as long as they was a demand for brothels, they would continue to exist within the city. But the girls and boys who sold their flesh now did it out of choice, gone were all false indentures along with Tante Heleen's stranglehold on the market. Owners dared not mistreat their employees, not when information leaked so easily. They did not want the Stadwatch or Dirtyhands to come knocking on their door, or worse of all, the Wraith herself.

Still, Kaz could not shake the feeling buried deep in his bones, the one that called upon all his worse fears. Things were going well for him, too well. The Dregs had a huge monopoly on the Barrel, the Crow Club was thriving, and the Slat was over-flowing with fledgling criminals, desperate to join their ranks. And he had Inej, his wife, by his side, offering her guidance in the form of cryptic Suli proverbs. Kaz was happy, was happier than he ever been since he lost Da and Jordie. And the thought of losing it all terrified him.

Kaz liked to be prepared for all eventualities. Perhaps he should have thought things through more before all this began, rather than getting lost in the taste of her lips and the feel of her skin. They had talked it through before, in passing, so the child was not unwanted by any means, but Kaz had not expected it to happen quite so quickly. Inej said that the Saints liked to test people, Kaz wasn't so sure of that, but if the forces above wanted to watch him struggle, they had another thing coming. Kaz Brekker was used to thinking on his feet.

He'd had this house in construction the day Inej first suspected she might be with child, and by the time the baby was born, Kaz intended to have every possible precaution put into place. When he was done, it would make breaking into the Ice Court look like child's play.

Digging the heels of his palms into his tired eyes, Kaz finally allowed himself to succumb to his need for sleep. He had an important meeting with the Black-Tips in the morning, and he needed his wits about him in case Geels got any more bright ideas.

Turning off the lamp, Kaz rose, moving to sit back down on his side of the bed, lifting his stiff leg onto the plush mattress. Inej was fast asleep, her bronze skin luminous even in the dim light. Pregnancy suited her, making her glow from the inside out. It could make Kaz's heart stop inside his chest. Sometimes he'd step inside his office at the Slat to find Inej perched on the windowsill, her hand rubbing soothing patterns over her swollen stomach, trying to calm the small life within.

Their child liked to kick, Inej told him during her more restless nights. Kaz was glad. Their kid was strong, just like their mother.

Sometimes he could feel it shift beneath his fingers at night, his arm slung over his wife's waist, his lips pressing against the back of her neck. It was bizarre to feel the flutter of something so new inside of her. It felt strange to be creating a life, rather than snuffing it out. Though Inej was doing the majority of the work.

He wondered if all new father's felt this way. If they were all terrified of screwing up, of screwing their _kid_ up. Had his father felt this way when Ma had been pregnant with Joride? Had he been nervous about the future, petrified of ruining something so innocent? But Kaz was not his father. Da had been a good man, a simple man. His father had raised them well, him and Joride, had made Kaz feel safe and loved. He had never once felt his father's resentment. Even though Kaz's birth had ended Ma's life, Da had always made him feel wanted.

Inej was strong, stronger than him, but if he were to lose her in the same way as they'd lost Ma, Kaz was not sure how he'd go on. He'd struggle to be a good father even with her by his side, without her...Kaz didn't even want to think about it. For now, he'd simply settle for not having the kid turn out like him.

Inej shifted beside him, rolling to face him, her dark eyes open. "Shhhh" she whispered, her hand moving to rest on his shoulder. "You're thinking too loud."

She was careful not to touch his skin, most likely fearful that his insomnia was a result of one of his bad nights, the ones where all the could feel when he touched her was Jordie's dead body.

He took her hand in his, pressing his lips against her palm, assuring her of his wellbeing. She smiled sleepily at him, and Kaz felt himself relax. At six months pregnant, Inej truly was radiant. "Did I wake you?"

Inej shook her head, no. "He's moving again."

Kaz rolled his eyes, his lips tugging upwards despite himself. The Suli and their superstitions. Inej was certain that their child was a boy, Kaz thought she'd been listening to too many old wives tales. Inej aimed a kick at his good leg, able to read his expression. 

Her stomach rested low on her hips, something that, according to Inej's mother, guaranteed a son - Kaz wasn't so sure. The sex of their child did not matter to him, what concerned Kaz more were all the prying eyes. Inej's stomach already looked huge on her small frame, it was obvious to anyone that saw that she was with child. Kaz had been sure to get her out of the Barrel the second she started showing, but that hadn't stopped her from sneaking back undetected, doing exactly what the Wraith does best. 

Unseen or not, Kaz didn't like it, he knew first hand what good blackmail material pregnant wives could be.

Inej's expression suddenly changed into one of pain, and Kaz felt his heart rate pick up. "He got me in the ribs" she winced, reaching for him, resting their joined hands against her stomach.

"Can you feel him?"

"Yeah."

"He kicks more when you talk, I think he knows the sound of your voice."

Kaz did not how to respond to that. All of this seemed to come so easily to her, while Kaz felt completely out of his element, as though cold water was rising above his head - -!

"Kaz?" she squeezed his hand tightly, bringing him back to her.

"It will be alright, you know," Inej said calmly, her thumb tracing across his knuckles. She'd always been able to read his mind so easily, as if flicking through a child's picture book. "I'll be okay, the baby will okay. And you'll be a great father, I know it."

She said it all with that same Suli certainty with which she talked about her Saints. Kaz just hoped she was right.

Kaz nodded, swallowing the rawness in his throat, letting himself settle beside her on the bed, breathing in the sent of her soap, feeling their baby kick against the palm of his hand. It would be okay, they would both be okay.

"Just don't forget our bet, Wraith" he rasped, lips twitching, "when Nina places that baby girl in my arms, I expect to be paid my 100 Kruge up front."

Inej laughed at that, her smile contagious, "we shall see, my love. We shall see."

-

Four months later, after 10 long hours of labour, a bedraggled Nina was beaming at him, happy tears welling in her eyes as she pressed the new-born baby into his arms They were the spitting image of their mother, same bronze skin, same large dark eyes, but Kaz could detect something of himself around their nose. Poor kid.

Kaz sighed despite his grin, adjusting the pale blue blanket around his son. As a rule, Kaz Brekker hated to lose, but as he looked at the baby in his arms, wrapping his tiny hand around Kaz's long fingers, it was impossible to feel sore about it.

Speaking of sore, as he approached the bed Kaz took in the full extent of his wife's appearance. He'd been kicked out of the delivery room after only two hours of labour by both women. Apparently, his snide comments and constant hovering were not helpful. But eight hours on, Inej looked exhausted, her hair drenched in sweat and heavily mussed, dark circles hanging beneath her eyes. But she was beaming at him, and Kaz couldn't think of a time he'd ever been more in love with her.

She held out her hand to him, palm facing upwards, and, for a moment, Kaz thought she was trying to reach out to him. Until she spoke. "Couch up, Brekker," she said, her smirk wide, "I believe I've won the bet, where's my Kruge?"

Kaz sighed, letting their son's head rest in the crook of his left arm as he took her hand with free one, bringing it up to his lips. "I hate that you're always right," he said, unable to fight his grin.

"Don't worry,", she smiled, a glint in her eyes as she watched him gently rock their son. "I'll give you a daughter next time."

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the final instalment of this little series! I thought I'd take a break from my big multi-chapter rpoject to work on this, we all need a little Kanej fluff in our lives :')
> 
> [My tumblr](http://thisqueenshallconquer.tumblr.com/)


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